Bitcoin: the greatest bank in human history?

It’s basically gold (rare and valuable globally) but can 1. Be transferred instantly to anyone in the world 2. Doesn’t need to be physically stored with you or trusted to a bank or government programs like 401k 3. Isn’t tied to the market like the stock exchange or index funds (it is a little bit but it recovers waaay faster) 4. Can be accessed from any device with a seed phrase in your brain 5. Can’t be confiscated or monitored

How are people still not getting it!